INTRODUCING...
If emotional intimacy is your destination, attachment styles is the vehicle that’s going to get you there, but not without any gas…that’s where my trademarked method, and “HIP” communication formula, come in.
Communication is more than the words that we speak, it is the ENERGY that we FEEL and EXPRESS in relationships. Learning the right words without understanding how to process the emotional energy behind them, is going to keep you stuck in cyclical negative patterns in love. Until now!
Danica, 29
Alan Pottinger, 44
Lenka, 35
Not to mention, INSPIRING LOVE in a partner, rather than demanding, begging, or attempting to earn it from them, which allows you to experience DEVOTION beyond the fear of settling, rather than a suffocating or half-hearted COMMITMENT, .
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And typically, that means understanding both of your unique attachment styles, or “love maps”-your unique way of giving and receiving love. When we DON’T understand each other’s attachment styles, it can lead to confusion, pain, and mixed signals in relationships.
The struggle might look like...
My online coaching program, The Courageous Communicator, is going to hold your hand every step of the way, so you get to embrace that reality, for good.
And believe me, it’s SO worth it!
Experience has taught me it’s not complicated to learn how to attract stable and emotionally available partners when you have a deep understanding of how attachment styles and energy healing works.
Attachment styles and healing attachment wounds is a topic so near and dear to my heart, because I don’t just teach this stuff, I’ve lived it. As a child of divorce, my parents were always on the move, and we lived on the edge of poverty most of the time. I became a high achiever to compensate until my relationship struggles tore down everything I’d accomplished, and I wound up a divorced, single mom.
Then, both my parents and my brother were diagnosed with serious, chronic illnesses. And the new partner I had fallen madly in love with couldn’t prioritize me or stay faithful. When he left, my heart broke anew, and I miscarried what would’ve been my second child.
I decided to dive straight down into my demons, and write a book about attachment and grief. Writing the book emboldened me to shed my shame, and learned how to move from an insecure to a secure attachment style! This led to creating the curriculum for my online courses, such as The Courageous Communicator, and building an online community for support. Much to my delight, both caught fire, and I’ve never looked back!
The Courageous Communicator uses our "HIP" Formula, which guides you through 9 transformational lessons and 5 interactive workshops, to help you fearlessly express your desires, navigate conflicts fairly, and deepen emotional intimacy, whether partnered or single.
Lesson #1:
Three Conflict Styles & How To Recognize Them
Lesson #2:
End Mixed Signals & Avoid Triggers: What To Say Instead
Lesson #3:
From Angry to Adoring: Transform Your Conflict Blueprint
Lesson #4:
Inspire Devotion With Compassionate Communication
Lesson #5:
From Confused to Clear: Find Your Voice & Get Your Needs Met
Lesson #6:
Toxic Communications: How to Spot and Avoid Them
Lesson #7:
Creative Ways to Foster Emotional Safety & Intimacy
Lesson #8:
Achieving Long-Term Compatibility With Healthy Boundaries
Lesson #9:
Making Love Last: Building Your Relationship Love Map
In step 1, students are usually LED BY FEAR, ANGER, AND/OR HELPLESSNESS. If they are single they may be heartbroken from previous relationships, and desperate not to fail again. If they are partnered, they may be at their wits end, and sick of having the same arguments in different iterations, over and over again.
There is usually A NEED FOR CLARITY, and answers as to why their efforts at improving their communication skills haven’t led to improved results in the dating scene, or in a relationship. They STRUGGLE WITH FINGER-POINTING, and recognizing their role in the dynamic.
THE GROWTH CHALLENGE is to become aware of how your attachment styles are affecting the way you communicate in a relationship, understanding that reparative communications in love, are a way of developing resilience, usually after profound challenges and attachment wounding (yours or your partners).
Have you ever struggled with…
WITHIN 30 DAYS, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO…
Angry, hurt, and frustrated, Kelly had hit a wall. She had been trying to figure out why her relationships always failed, and she felt like she was going crazy. She had tried everything- read books, taken courses, talked to friends, but nothing seemed to work. She was so tired of feeling like she was “broken” because of her attachment style; who could love her if she was so anxious all the time? Then she found The Courageous Communicator course. It was the first time she had ever heard someone talk about communication relevant to insecure attachment styles, and things clicked for her. Within 6 months of taking this course, she was in a serious relationship with a new partner.
“The Courageous Communicator course helped me to see how my past relationships were affecting the way I communicated now. I learned how to take responsibility for my own actions, and how to start communicating in a way that would help me to achieve the kind of relationship I wanted.”
Kelly, 29
In step 2, students are LED BY HUMILITY AND CURIOSITY. If they are in a relationship, they have surrendered their defenses and are willing to open up to listening to their partners without judgment, criticism, or taking personal offense. If they are single, they are ready to let go of a need for outcomes, and allow the dating process to be a fun experiment and exploratory adventure.
In the wake of this ‘surrender’, comes an intensified STRUGGLE WITH UNDERSTANDING YOUR NEEDS, and knowing what they have a “right” to feel and want from the relationship. They WANT AND NEED TO LET GO OF A FEAR OF UNWORTHINESS or feeling “not good enough” while at the same time, “too much.”
THE GROWTH CHALLENGE requires sitting with uncomfortable feelings long enough to honestly identify and express your needs. This includes UNLEARNING old toxic habits of communication and dis-identifying with them as an aspect of your personality. Then comes the task of BUILDING NEW COMMUNICATION SKILLS that foster compassion and reciprocity in love.
Have you ever struggled with…
WITHIN 60 DAYS, you will BE ABLE TO…
When Janine joined The Courageous Communicator program, she felt sad and guilty about her recent break up, in which her partner accused her of being overly critical and demanding. Through the course, she learned to soften her communication style by confronting her own inner critic, and a fear of losing control and getting hurt. She also realized her demands were often a smoke screen of more vulnerable feelings and needing reassurance, but not knowing how to ask for it. By the end of the course, she was able to communicate her needs in a way that felt less risky, and was able to attract a new partner who was more compatible with her.
“I learned so much about myself through this program. I had no idea that my need for control was really about a need for more connection. I’m so grateful to have found a way of communicating that feels more authentic and less threatening to potential partners.”
Janine, 45
By the time students reach stage three, they are LED BY A SPIRIT OF GENEROSITY AND OPTIMISM. There are feelings of excitement and openness around practicing the new skills they have learned. They are hopeful for experiencing more satisfaction in their love lives, because they feel better equipped and more capable, whether they are partnered,or dating.
They NEED TO TRUST that it is okay to make mistakes, and that time and practice will lead to increasing feelings of devotion and improved communication. They WANT TO SHARE THEIR NEW SKILLS with others, and practice being more emotionally vulnerable; but this time, the goal is to exercise self-advocacy and authenticity, as opposed to being validation-seeking.
THE GROWTH CHALLENGE is learning to ESTABLISH AND COMMUNICATE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES so that both partners feel seen, heard, loved, and accepted for who they are, as they are. This is the cornerstone of practice secure attachment in your relationships, which leads to the kind of stimulating FREEDOM AND SAFETY that allows you to have BOTH PASSION AND SECURITY, in love.
